Dizzy Ducks A CONVERSATION WITH MySelf Worry, Regret, and Relief The partner of worry is regret. Relief has no opposite. In relief, worry and regret are one. “All negativity is caused by an accumulation of psychological time and denial of the present. Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry - all forms of fear - are caused by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of non-forgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence” Ekhart Tolle Amy: God – are you here? (Amy is jumping up and down in joy, bursting with enthusiasm) God: Yes Amy. I Am here Amy: Oh thank God, God (Amy laughs) – I’ve been feeling so much excitement to show you I think my heart was about to explode! God: Show me Amy Amy: Look! Look! I’ve got one here…. (Amy points to her face, to a tattoo of a duck on her cheek) ….and one on the other… (she turns around, bends over and goes to lift her dress…she stops) Oh! Phew….nearly. I think I should keep the other cheeks to myself. (Amy sits down and exhales a sigh of relief) Oh! Really, phew! I might have regretted that. (Amy’s face reddens and she looks down to the ground, her eyes start to fill up) God: Tell me how you’re feeling Amy Amy: mmmm, I feel…oh I don’t know the word. I don’t really like this feeling. I feel scared with this feeling. God: It’s okay Amy. Remember, I am always here feeling your feelings with you. Now, when you are ready, tell me where you feel it Amy: Oh God, well, it moves quite fast this one God: Okay. This is good awareness Amy. Tell me how it moves Amy: I just told you God, fast God: Yes. Does it have a direction? Where is it moving? Amy: Well, it kind of moved from my face and all the way down, like a big waterfall, and, well, I don’t know where it went – I think it might have gone to my…oh my goodness – it went from my face cheeks to my… God: Yes Amy?. Tell me…. (Amy’s face reddens again) Amy: My bbbb...... – oh God, it just happened again. The big waterfall. I can’t say it, its’ stuck in my throat. Oh my God, I’ve got a word stuck in my throat!! Oh no, and now my heart – my heart is beating super, super, fast and big! How am I going to get this out of my throat??? I’m going to die, I’m going to die choking on my bum!!! God: …… Amy: oh! (Amy’s hand races to clasp her mouth) Amy: It’s out. I didn’t have time to catch it God: It’s okay Amy. You didn’t need to catch it. Amy: I didn’t? God: No Amy. Everything that comes, goes. You are perfectly safe. Amy: Yes God. You’re right. I’m here, that’s the main thing. Don’t worry. I’m okay. Phew! Thank goodness it came out. What a relief. I must say, what a surprise it did. I was feeling worry for a minute there. Biiiiiiiig worry. Super, super, super worry. Even my heart was feeling it too. I thought it was going to explode. Phew! (Amy pauses) Oh God God: Yes Amy Amy: Oh God, it all got a bit much. (Amy begins to cry and kneels down into a puddle of her own tears on the ground. She’s there for quite a while) Amy: Oh. I am sorry God. I’m not really sure what happened there. God: No problem at all Amy. I’m here. Everything comes, and everything goes. You can let it be so. Amy: Yes. I suppose you’re right God. I’m still here. God: You are. Amy: God. May I share something with you? God: Yes Amy. Go ahead Amy: Well, I feel a kind of happy when I’m sad now. Like, a kind of beautiful. Not with really, really big sad. Because my heart hurts really bad and it might explode. That’s why I got the Dizzy Ducks tattoos. Well, apart from the fact that I created Dizzy Ducks so I thought it best to get them stuck on me so everyone knows and they don’t get stolen. But I noticed that they keep the sad small when it comes, when I’m not playing dizzy ducks, so I still feel beautiful, happy, and well, they save me from explosion. (Amy pauses, her eyes widen and her mouth drops open) Amy: Oh noooooooooo! Oh no, oh no, oh nooooooooo. God: Tell me the problem Amy (Amy’s face goes white and her eyes fill with tears) Amy: That’s the waterfall again God. It’s true. I’ve made a really big mistake. I knew I was going to regret it. My mum always said she didn’t like tattoos, now I know why. I was feeling worry when I first thought about the tattoos but then I couldn’t find the reason in my mind why and it seemed like such a good way to solve the big sadness problem, and I didn’t like the big sadness because I was feeling fearful of it, but now I’ve got the big waterfall problem, and I feel even more fearful. I’m cursed! I’m cursed! Why didn’t I just listen to my mum?? God: Tell me why you believe the big waterfall is because of your dizzy ducks tattoos Amy: Well – the waterfall goes from my face cheeks to my bum cheeks, just like my tattoos. God: Ah! I got you. OK Amy, we are going to check this out. Amy: Okay (Amy looks intrigued) God: Okay. Tell me if you have ever felt this big waterfall before? Amy: mmmmmm…..may I have a moment to think about this God, because I feel like this is quite important. God: Yes Amy. Close your eyes and feel your body. Take as long as you need. (Amy sits down on her tree stump and gets to work) Amy: I have an answer now God. May I tell you what I’ve found out on my investigation? God: Yes Amy. Tell me. Amy: Thank you God. Well, I have felt this feeling before God. Many, many, many times. I just haven’t told anyone about it. God: Okay Amy. Good. Now. Tell me your thoughts about the duck tattoos being a curse. Amy: Oh. Well. I guess not. Phew! What a relief! I was feeling big worry again there for a moment. (Amy’s cheek, her face one, twitches. She raises her hand and tenderly strokes her duck tattoo. She frowns) Amy: hmmmmm. The plot thickens. God: Does it? Amy: Well yes God. I realise, upon further investigation, that I just got big big sad, even though I have my Dizzy Ducks tattoos. So, the Dizzy Duck tattoos don’t stop the big sad either. God: Yes Amy. This is so. (Amy ponders, and continues to stroke her cheek. She starts to giggle, uncontrollably) Amy: Oh God, I’ve just had such a funny thought? God: Yes Amy, share it with me Amy: Well, I was thinking about my gravestone and what it will say on it. God: Tell me (Amy is now laughing hysterically) Amy: “Amy, died here. Creator of Dizzy Ducks. Choked on her bum!” (Amy continues to laugh and roll around the floor. She stops) Amy: God. I just got the waterfall again. May I ask you a question? God: Yes Amy, go ahead. Amy: Do you like my duck tattoos? God: Yes Amy. I like them very much. They are very beautiful. (Amy smiles a huge smile) Amy: And God, please may I ask another question? God: Yes Amy: If the big waterfall isn’t a curse. What is it then? I feel worry that I don’t know. Especially as it has a big pool of big sadness at the bottom. God: Big waterfall sounds fine to me Amy. Amy: It does? God: Yes Amy. Big waterfall is perfect. Amy: Phew! What a relief! JOURNEY OF THE AWAKENING HEART
